Hello, assalammualaikum.
It's been a while, again.
I couldn't think straight and I'm too sleepy to do anything right now, so I'll just write out what's on my mind.
This past week has been very eventful, and this past month has been filled with many laughters, annoyance, also not to forget my never-ending movie binges at the cinemas.
Salam Aidiladha! Hope it's not too late to wish that. Oh, last time I went to see some cows being sembelih-ed at my grandma's house area. And let me tell you, it was... fascinating. It gives me a newfound respect and I don't know what this feeling is, just, alhamdulillah. Aidiladha is a wonderful thing. The story behind it is wonderful. And seeing the cows back then, I felt so much emotion washing through me. So I guess everyone should at least watch the lembu sembelihings at least once in their life. Of course, some people won't be able to handle it because of the... well, of course, you may not be able to eat meat again after but that's not always the case. It's always the same for me so I guess I'm a bit different. But!!! Go watch (or join in for the boys) of the lembu sembelihings!
((Also lots of fun for me watching this one cute guy almost getting tanduk-ed by one of the cows haha cutie pie yes I love seeing you run away but came back again right after to take the lembu down)).
And well, I've watched lots of movies from Malay, Korean to English movies but I'll be posting up reviews on my other blog. Well, you'll have to find it #eh no don't.
As for what I'm doing right now, I'm not sure either but I have a goal now. I waver a lot and well, I may not even aim properly haha but this is what I wanna do, so I'll stick to that!
Being alone, being in solitude... It has always been a joy for me, and will always will be, If someone could break this spell and prove to me that he can make me like being with him more than being alone then he's a keeper. Unfortunately I've had high hopes for people before this and it proves to be wrong, so I don't wanna hope for anything.
I enjoy being on my own, experiencing things on my own, and living in my own little world. I don't like being called a sheltered-princess, but staying at home for months had put me in a certain mindset so it's time to change that, I guess. I have to read a lot, have a broader mind and just, well, live.
Sometimes I don't feel like I'm breathing the same air as everyone else and sometimes it's even harder to pick myself up at the end of the day like I did many times before, but I'm gonna try and try again. I give up on myself many times too, because I hate myself sometimes, and I hate life, and there are certain things that I wish I wasn't born with... but this is me. And it's a harsh, cruel world. But I'll change little by little, see the world's lights and go forward with hope. Falter again, stand back up again. It's a struggle to keep on trying and trying when all you get was failure and failure, but this is it. Allah has good plans and I will believe in Him, and so I'll try my hardest to fight through and through.
I will falter though. Most of the time I spent my nights wallowing in agony and questioning my whole life, but then there's more games to play and more anime to watch, more ideas to write and more languages to learn, so insyaa-Allah, I will be okay.
So you guys will be okay too. Keep fighting on and don't give up! Nadia believes in you!
See you guys and let's hope for the best for our future! <3
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